








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1867 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,334 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twisttxo | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Jammin Jamal | 47% | 199 |
| #3 | randomtime | 45% | 194 |
| #4 | nacho | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | dewe | 45% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | randomtime | 45% | 194 |
| #4 | nacho | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | dewe | 45% | 113 |
| #6 | PabloEugeniusz | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Billey The Kidney | 37% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | randomtime | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | dewe | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Billey The Kidney | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | nacho | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Jammin Jamal | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | randomtime | 741 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | dewe | 504 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Billey The Kidney | 420 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jammin Jamal | 384 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | nacho | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dewe | +4.95 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Jammin Jamal | +2.73 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Billey The Kidney | +1.41 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | randomtime | +0.26 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | twisttxo | -1.05 | 59 | 52 |





