








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1851 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3818 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2586 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1145 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,921 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 🐶 | 49% | 57 |
| #8 | iceballs | 48% | 198 |
| #9 | Wolfenstein | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | SHYinAction | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | eds_ | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUNISHER | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | EA17 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | iceballs | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | eds_ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | 🐶 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceballs | 392 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | duy | 243 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | EA17 | 176 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | 🐶 | 141 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | SHYinAction | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUNISHER | +2.56 | 81 | 11 |
| #2 | EA17 | +1.78 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | ℙ︎kℨ︎ℜ | +1.60 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | 🐶 | +0.47 | 77 | 45 |
| #5 | duy | +0.38 | 76 | 63 |





