








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 29% |
| Smokes | 401 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,478 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawking, Stephen | 14 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Godfather | 11 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | Breezy Buttcheeks | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Deathless144 | 5 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | Dirty Bong Water | 5 | 0.0216 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Bong Water | +1.74 | 53 | 68 |
| #2 | Hawking, Stephen | +1.20 | 38 | 27 |
| #3 | Godfather | +1.09 | 59 | 42 |
| #4 | Jesse | -0.75 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | Breezy Buttcheeks | -1.89 | 36 | 35 |





