








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2099 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2278 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2966 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2372 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,767 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | attribute | 43% | 173 |
| #2 | Love & Friendship | 43% | 127 |
| #3 | Ray Piste | 37% | 131 |
| #4 | t0x | 37% | 176 |
| #5 | lloyd christmas | 36% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | attribute | 43% | 173 |
| #2 | Love & Friendship | 43% | 127 |
| #3 | Ray Piste | 37% | 131 |
| #4 | t0x | 37% | 176 |
| #5 | lloyd christmas | 36% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Love & Friendship | 68 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | t0x | 34 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Ray Piste | 21 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | attribute | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | lloyd christmas | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | attribute | 282 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Love & Friendship | 248 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ray Piste | 231 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | t0x | 92 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | lloyd christmas | 86 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Love & Friendship | +4.35 | 60 | 59 |
| #2 | attribute | +1.05 | 49 | 44 |
| #3 | lloyd christmas | +0.07 | 26 | 35 |
| #4 | t0x | -0.52 | 22 | 46 |
| #5 | Ray Piste | -0.75 | 31 | 53 |





