








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1182 | 39% |
| Smokes | 808 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 646 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,742 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | House | 3 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | danika ? | 1 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Rave | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Freesies | 1 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Kevin | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zteeek | 75 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Oliveyay ♿ | 63 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rave | 34 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Abyss | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | danika ? | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hY^ | +5.12 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | danika ? | +4.90 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | NdR | +2.91 | 91 | 66 |
| #4 | Oliveyay ♿ | +2.18 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | xezr | +1.59 | 88 | 66 |





