








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 25% |
| Smokes | 992 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,651 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Mobiili | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | TUGIS | 73% | 22 |
| #4 | moppi | 69% | 74 |
| #5 | toni | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | toni | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | TOSI ISO T | 66% | 68 |
| #7 | ege | 65% | 43 |
| #8 | tke | 62% | 37 |
| #9 | vilh0w | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mobiili | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | moppi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ege | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | tke | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TUGIS | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moppi | 229 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ege | 194 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | tke | 176 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | TOSI ISO T | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | TUGIS | 120 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mobiili | +3.22 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | ege | +1.80 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | tke | +1.67 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | kookos jampo | +1.66 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | moppi | +1.27 | 78 | 71 |





