








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1375 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,567 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookos jampo | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | tke | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | vilh0w | 70% | 66 |
| #4 | ege | 69% | 134 |
| #5 | moppi | 69% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | moppi | 69% | 153 |
| #6 | TOSI ISO T | 69% | 148 |
| #7 | iltisohjaaja | 63% | 8 |
| #8 | TUGIS | 57% | 21 |
| #9 | toni | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ege | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | moppi | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TOSI ISO T | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | toni | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | iltisohjaaja | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ege | 716 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #2 | moppi | 492 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | TOSI ISO T | 324 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | vilh0w | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | TUGIS | 89 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ege | +2.21 | 79 | 76 |
| #2 | kookos jampo | +2.02 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Mobiili | +1.77 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | moppi | +1.10 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | vilh0w | +0.19 | 75 | 68 |





