










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1217 | 31% |
| Smokes | 279 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 2077 | 52% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,318 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judgeman | 57% | 103 |
| #2 | viledot | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | eyepatch | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | i shoot guns | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | GAGER (´ཀ`」 | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eyepatch | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | viledot | 11 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Judgeman | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | sip | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | GAGER (´ཀ`」 | 4 | 0.0028 |





