








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 794 | 24% |
| Smokes | 719 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,814 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alwaysrusty | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | ⛧beniss | 54% | 78 |
| #3 | cum dealer | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Ghoul | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | sketchgoblín | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ghoul | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | sketchgoblín | 45% | 73 |
| #6 | 5URG3 | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | B-Rad | 28% | 18 |
| #8 | JEStERR11 | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sketchgoblín | 34 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | alwaysrusty | 11 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | 5URG3 | 9 | 0.0236 |
| #4 | ⛧beniss | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | JEStERR11 | 5 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sketchgoblín | 467 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | cum dealer | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ⛧beniss | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | alwaysrusty | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | JEStERR11 | 64 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5URG3 | +4.53 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | ⛧beniss | +1.92 | 75 | 40 |
| #3 | Carlos José Pablo lll | +1.04 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | JEStERR11 | +0.92 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | alwaysrusty | +0.59 | 74 | 18 |





