








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2438 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2980 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3610 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2433 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,300,603 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | EmSy | 64% | 252 |
| #5 | Phinx | 57% | 67 |
| #6 | just | 56% | 183 |
| #7 | popka | 54% | 158 |
| #8 | rolka@HMMMMMMMM | 48% | 267 |





