








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Renown | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2839 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3127 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5105 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4457 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,252,683 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | just | 53% | 180 |
| #7 | Phinx | 51% | 74 |
| #8 | MNSA | 51% | 65 |
| #9 | rolka@HMMMMMMMM | 50% | 120 |
| #10 | Cetera | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmSy | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | just | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Zhirnas | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | N`vRu | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | MNSA | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmSy | 630 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | just | 535 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | N`vRu | 423 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | absolutely krayzeh -__- | 417 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | MNSA | 306 | 0.21 | 8 min |





