








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 824 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2509 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1534 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,381 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trash | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | falco | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 44% | 135 |
| #4 | CtrlMjollnir | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | ♥ΘТЭρ♥ | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | falco | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 44% | 135 |
| #4 | CtrlMjollnir | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | ♥ΘТЭρ♥ | 42% | 48 |
| #6 | Holla | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Holla | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | CtrlMjollnir | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 530 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | trash | 334 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | Holla | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♥ΘТЭρ♥ | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | CtrlMjollnir | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falco | +4.23 | 68 | 48 |
| #2 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | +2.15 | 42 | 68 |
| #3 | trash | +1.91 | 32 | 69 |
| #4 | Geroni | -0.04 | 42 | 44 |
| #5 | Holla | -2.97 | 54 | 34 |





