








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2288 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2242 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,393 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 984 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | mellon | 54% | 127 |
| #3 | Kent | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Glyde | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | hotzera | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PuTPuT | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | mellon | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Barry | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Glyde | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Kent | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry | +1.11 | 59 | 62 |
| #2 | hotzera | +0.86 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | mellon | +0.83 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | PuTPuT | +0.74 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | Glyde | +0.65 | 55 | 47 |





