








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1029 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1143 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,143 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACJ dislocation grade 5 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | [--GRAZY--] Sandahlen #NäraJul | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | slasher | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Señor Vacツ | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACJ dislocation grade 5 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | [--GRAZY--] Sandahlen #NäraJul | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | slasher | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Señor Vacツ | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vacツ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vacツ | 211 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | ACJ dislocation grade 5 | 52 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | [--GRAZY--] Sandahlen #NäraJul | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | slasher | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patricio | +0.66 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | [--GRAZY--] Sandahlen #NäraJul | +0.59 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Señor Vacツ | -0.34 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | ACJ dislocation grade 5 | -0.42 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | slasher | -0.47 | 63 | 41 |





