








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3301 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3054 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2435 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,824 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | WHAT'S AAAPPPPANTO | 51% | 97 |
| #7 | angelofootball99 | 50% | 170 |
| #8 | Radagast 2.5 | 47% | 105 |
| #9 | ☂やolleรψ☂ | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | IcoNic_ | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radagast 2.5 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | WHAT'S AAAPPPPANTO | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | angelofootball99 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | FenicEzz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | NickFury98 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angelofootball99 | 738 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | FenicEzz | 517 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | NickFury98 | 399 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | WHAT'S AAAPPPPANTO | 195 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Radagast 2.5 | 177 | 0.07 | 4 min |





