








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 337 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2067 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1971 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2099 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,314,264 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lain | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Itachi Uchiha | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | 1HP | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | MoistCritikal | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | V_Hades | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1HP | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | YoruKage | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Patzekatze | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | MoistCritikal | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | V_Hades | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axeLs | +2.36 | 38 | 73 |
| #2 | V_Hades | +2.08 | 37 | 46 |
| #3 | YoruKage | +0.56 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | MoistCritikal | +0.20 | 17 | 70 |
| #5 | Itachi Uchiha | -0.26 | 62 | 56 |





