








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6857 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4936 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5746 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5435 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,474,620 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rosé | 75% | 44 |
| #10 | BushKnifeBobby | 71% | 82 |
| #11 | tweaKzx ✪ | 68% | 81 |
| #12 | Mec Borra | 66% | 89 |
| #13 | leaf | 65% | 46 |





