








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2917 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2026 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 801 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,788 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yajul | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | SimplySquare | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Shurfey | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | 3eakStefan | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Limey | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Limey | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Ponobi | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | mika-iwnl- | 46% | 50 |
| #8 | Whitty | 42% | 48 |
| #9 | wolf | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3eakStefan | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Shurfey | 4 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | SimplySquare | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Ponobi | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | mika-iwnl- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mika-iwnl- | 220 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Whitty | 171 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Limey | 169 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | SimplySquare | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | wolf | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yajul | +2.46 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | Dragon | +2.17 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | mika-iwnl- | +1.02 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | SimplySquare | +0.48 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | 3eakStefan | -0.93 | 61 | 56 |





