








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1372 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5197 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1185 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,062,167 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hans | 56% | 236 |
| #5 | Holst | 54% | 50 |
| #6 | Bot Wayne | 53% | 91 |
| #7 | Kirstine | Kisser | 51% | 59 |
| #8 | SunghyuN | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eTeXy (埃特西) | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Hans | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bot Wayne | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Kirstine | Kisser | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Holst | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans | 591 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nuah | 269 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | eTeXy (埃特西) | 216 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kirstine | Kisser | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Holst | 131 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunghyuN | +2.84 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Hans | +2.57 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | eTeXy (埃特西) | +2.08 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | Suiiiii golazo | +0.65 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | Nuah | +0.16 | 56 | 54 |





