








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 592 | 22% |
| Smokes | 341 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1119 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,221 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 시바 | 48% | 71 |
| #3 | Papa Jay | 46% | 116 |
| #4 | Darshan | 46% | 101 |
| #5 | ⋆。°✩ starry ✩°。⋆ | 39% | 61 |
| #6 | MoocHe | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darshan | 36 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Papa Jay | 21 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ⋆。°✩ starry ✩°。⋆ | 11 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | 시바 | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | MoocHe | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆。°✩ starry ✩°。⋆ | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | MoocHe | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Darshan | 34 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | 시바 | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Papa Jay | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |





