








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2974 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3424 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,155 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon | 64% | 73 |
| #2 | aavsen | 62% | 159 |
| #3 | Cata | 61% | 150 |
| #4 | ReesePuff | 61% | 93 |
| #5 | AsSaSs1n | 59% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | aavsen | 62% | 159 |
| #3 | Cata | 61% | 150 |
| #4 | ReesePuff | 61% | 93 |
| #5 | AsSaSs1n | 59% | 177 |
| #6 | MrJubJubJub | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cata | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | AsSaSs1n | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | aavsen | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | MrJubJubJub | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | ReesePuff | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AsSaSs1n | 897 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | aavsen | 652 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Cata | 552 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | ReesePuff | 298 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | lemon | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AsSaSs1n | +1.95 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | aavsen | +0.69 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Cata | +0.58 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | MrJubJubJub | +0.23 | 68 | 37 |
| #5 | <#00F>Juba | +0.17 | 73 | 66 |





