








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




160 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5116 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5976 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5648 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3602 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,186 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vapor | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | SD229 | 43% | 184 |
| #3 | Xynche | 42% | 203 |
| #4 | Heimskr | 42% | 78 |
| #5 | koo | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SD229 | 43% | 184 |
| #3 | Xynche | 42% | 203 |
| #4 | Heimskr | 42% | 78 |
| #5 | koo | 41% | 51 |
| #6 | §kððmå Çhµggêr | 36% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | §kððmå Çhµggêr | 27 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | SD229 | 23 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | koo | 14 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Heimskr | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Xynche | 10 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xynche | 575 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | SD229 | 502 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Heimskr | 251 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | §kððmå Çhµggêr | 183 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | koo | 148 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heimskr | +5.46 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | koo | +2.55 | 78 | 31 |
| #3 | Quacks | +0.13 | 41 | 58 |
| #4 | SD229 | -0.19 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | §kððmå Çhµggêr | -0.56 | 47 | 51 |





