








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3281 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3617 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2679 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2775 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,684 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHerrland | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | JuanjoGato | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | Xack | 61% | 71 |
| #4 | notFound | 60% | 145 |
| #5 | muchach -.^ | 59% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muchach -.^ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | SoLK1 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Xack | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | z1F' | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | notFound | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muchach -.^ | 885 | 0.32 | 23 min |
| #2 | z1F' | 651 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | SoLK1 | 393 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | notFound | 386 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | Xack | 268 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHerrland | +3.62 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | ^9Khabela | +2.73 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | JuanjoGato | +0.56 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | notFound | +0.56 | 57 | 77 |
| #5 | SoLK1 | +0.47 | 68 | 73 |





