








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4079 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1543 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1367 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,713 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodle™ | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Janick | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | ✪denckeRGOD | 52% | 96 |
| #4 | Igowallah | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Heady | 49% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heady | +3.18 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | ✪denckeRGOD | +2.56 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | Noodle™ | +2.52 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | BrixN | +2.27 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | Torpedo Torben | -0.88 | 62 | 55 |





