








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2290 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3330 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2733 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3277 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,720 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moonskii | 53% | 126 |
| #2 | Maliboo_88 | 53% | 234 |
| #3 | Audax | 48% | 97 |
| #4 | The Gunnarâ„¢ | 47% | 95 |
| #5 | Villa | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Audax | 239 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | The Gunnarâ„¢ | 141 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maliboo_88 | 138 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Villa | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Moonskii | 107 | 0.04 | 3 min |





