








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 730 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15459 | 43% |
| Smokes | 8688 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9598 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2443 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,523,868 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1814 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KilledByAGirl | 47% | 117 |
| #2 | H A Z E L | 46% | 149 |
| #3 | Philippouuu | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Bobby | 45% | 75 |
| #5 | Mol$on | 45% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | H A Z E L | 46% | 149 |
| #3 | Philippouuu | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Bobby | 45% | 75 |
| #5 | Mol$on | 45% | 129 |
| #6 | Piled Bodies | 44% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piled Bodies | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Philippouuu | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | H A Z E L | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Mol$on | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Bobby | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piled Bodies | 579 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mol$on | 421 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | H A Z E L | 350 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | KilledByAGirl | 182 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bobby | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrill. | +1.71 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Philippouuu | +0.35 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | Piled Bodies | +0.03 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | KilledByAGirl | -0.20 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | Bobby | -0.30 | 64 | 67 |





