








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,466 | |
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2352 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2944 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3223 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3259 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,576,151 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TaragoN | 47% | 171 |
| #8 | Majvor | 47% | 373 |
| #9 | ★LöKeN★ | 46% | 154 |
| #10 | Ringrostiga Ruth | 45% | 201 |
| #11 | KilllingBoy | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaragoN | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Majvor | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | KilllingBoy | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Bobo | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Ringrostiga Ruth | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majvor | 393 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #2 | ★LöKeN★ | 334 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | TaragoN | 211 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | h4nkstah | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bobo | 121 | 0.05 | 3 min |





