








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2441 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2077 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,858 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.O.A.T | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | W! | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | ant | 50% | 115 |
| #4 | Venom | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | rymez | 49% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | W! | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | ant | 50% | 115 |
| #4 | Venom | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | rymez | 49% | 107 |
| #6 | AberrationV | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W! | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | rymez | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Venom | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ant | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W! | 489 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | ant | 422 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | rymez | 218 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | G.O.A.T | 135 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | AberrationV | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.O.A.T | +2.44 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | boozle | +2.19 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | Venom | +0.54 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | rymez | -0.16 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | ant | -1.15 | 74 | 65 |





