








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6579 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2460 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3695 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4260 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,852 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minirw0w | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Larss0n | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | cryyy | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Flowyyy_ | 48% | 94 |
| #5 | toffaa | 48% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toffaa | 360 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Flowyyy_ | 313 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Larss0n | 163 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | cryyy | 157 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | .serenitxy | 138 | 0.21 | 3 min |





