








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4971 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4918 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4183 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4621 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,188 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basTi. | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | dpk | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Cpt.Jackk | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Larss0n | 55% | 146 |
| #5 | .serenitxy | 54% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .serenitxy | 54% | 126 |
| #6 | Flowyyy_ | 54% | 336 |
| #7 | toffaa | 52% | 173 |
| #8 | GeT_ReiN | 49% | 75 |
| #9 | Dont Fuck Me Block Me | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowyyy_ | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | dpk | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | .serenitxy | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | basTi. | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | toffaa | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowyyy_ | 1104 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | toffaa | 634 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | .serenitxy | 514 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | Larss0n | 293 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dont Fuck Me Block Me | 276 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cryyy | +2.46 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | dpk | +1.20 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | Flowyyy_ | +0.59 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | .serenitxy | +0.52 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | basTi. | +0.15 | 64 | 60 |





