








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1064 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1893 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1555 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,026 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TPHN | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | gylo | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | FUCK SAUSAGES IN OVEN | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | tuikuri | 43% | 21 |
| #13 | Dyny | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKI SORSA | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Rase | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Dyny | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | TPHN | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Likvidoija | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rase | 122 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | TPHN | 95 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Heisak | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dyny | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rankkapasi | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPHN | +3.41 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | Glapidi | +3.40 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Pätkis | +3.05 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Rase | +1.73 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Heisak | +1.20 | 78 | 67 |





