








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 153 | 13% |
| Smokes | 310 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 420 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,113 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonya | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Jatu | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Trinie | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Tassu | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Konstaapeli Koliseva | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | rankkuri | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | George | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Poxier | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | Coffee Cup.exe | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Duidevil | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Konstaapeli Koliseva | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Sonya | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Coffee Cup.exe | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trinie | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Poxier | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Duidevil | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Coffee Cup.exe | 25 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tassu | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxier | +3.78 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Coffee Cup.exe | +3.23 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | Tassu | +2.83 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | Trinie | +2.14 | 86 | 77 |
| #5 | Sonya | +1.30 | 77 | 57 |





