








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1063 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 830 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,533 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konstaapeli Koliseva | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Jatu | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Sonya | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | George | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | 290 | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lappy~♥ | 45% | 29 |
| #11 | Poxier | 42% | 123 |
| #12 | rankkuri | 38% | 55 |
| #13 | Gifya アニカ | 33% | 12 |
| #14 | Coffee Cup.exe | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxier | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Trinie | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Coffee Cup.exe | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Lappy~♥ | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Konstaapeli Koliseva | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trinie | 302 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Poxier | 298 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Lappy~♥ | 147 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | Duidevil | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | rankkuri | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxier | +3.19 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | Trinie | +0.73 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | Sonya | +0.40 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | Nimetön Vesinokkaeläin | +0.04 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | Tassu | -0.09 | 64 | 42 |





