








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1073 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,152 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thiag | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | fr4ll3 | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Fub | 82% | 17 |
| #4 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 82% | 17 |
| #5 | polle | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | rajden | 75% | 8 |
| #9 | Lukz | 75% | 24 |
| #10 | JH | 71% | 75 |
| #11 | skaningen1 | 63% | 8 |
| #12 | Madeline McCannabis | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | pr0fessorn (tonyskater) | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Thiag | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 563 | 0.35 | 17 min |
| #2 | Madeline McCannabis | 131 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | pr0fessorn (tonyskater) | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lukz | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | m0ri | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | +2.86 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Dananuh | +2.85 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | Thiag | +1.29 | 73 | 78 |
| #4 | Lukz | +1.29 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | JH | +1.22 | 75 | 81 |





