








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 25% |
| Smokes | 624 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,929 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thiag | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Dananuh | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | fr4ll3 | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | pr0fessorn (tonyskater) | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Fub | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fub | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 59% | 34 |
| #7 | JH | 55% | 53 |
| #8 | Lukz | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | Madeline McCannabis | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Lukz | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Fub | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Thiag | 1 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JH | 396 | 0.35 | 12 min |
| #2 | Madeline McCannabis | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jafulay -SaiyajiN- | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lukz | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dananuh | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dananuh | +2.81 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | fr4ll3 | +2.06 | 54 | 64 |
| #3 | Fub | +1.79 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Thiag | +1.28 | 90 | 75 |
| #5 | JH | +1.15 | 72 | 88 |





