








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 16% |
| Smokes | 267 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 232 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 294 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,419 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluT | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Mike257 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | CaluadaN | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Fred | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | exodus | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fred | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | exodus | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | nib | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | Steak aber saftig | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | helmut | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nib | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Steak aber saftig | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | CaluadaN | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | exodus | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Fred | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steak aber saftig | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | CaluadaN | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | exodus | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | nib | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fred | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluT | +5.14 | 91 | 82 |
| #2 | Fred | +0.56 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | nib | +0.51 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | RizaS | +0.43 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | exodus | +0.08 | 61 | 67 |





