








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2744 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2513 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1637 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1446 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,110 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | molbot | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | M1ster | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Na0 | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Michudawn | 52% | 67 |
| #5 | Chip!ツ | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michudawn | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | molbot | 103 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | Na0 | 58 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | M1ster | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chip!ツ | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\ (ツ) /¯ Dasse ¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +2.58 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | M1ster | +2.22 | 56 | 51 |
| #3 | molbot | +1.98 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Chip!ツ | +0.77 | 44 | 71 |
| #5 | Na0 | +0.11 | 75 | 53 |





