








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3400 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2613 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2110 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,368 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | ライン川 | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | Chapadopolous | 47% | 111 |
| #5 | JackHGUK | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapadopolous | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ライン川 | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Bogeyman | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | Invictus | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Powers | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ライン川 | 249 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chapadopolous | 220 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bogeyman | 161 | 0.40 | 5 min |
| #4 | mar | 143 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Powers | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invictus | +4.90 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | Jester | +4.40 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | azrod | +3.17 | 90 | 57 |
| #4 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | +2.99 | 54 | 56 |
| #5 | mar | +2.56 | 75 | 62 |





