








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 394 | 13% |
| Smokes | 850 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 896 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,634 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mazooti | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Chapadopolous | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Jester | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | ライン川 | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Bobby Joe | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Powers | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Stone Cold Jane Austen | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Graeme Dott Sex Offender | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Bobby Joe | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Chapadopolous | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone Cold Jane Austen | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | ライン川 | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | mar | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chapadopolous | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Powers | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | +3.76 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | mar | +2.94 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Bobby Joe | +2.22 | 66 | 29 |
| #4 | Chapadopolous | +2.14 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | JackHGUK | +0.81 | 58 | 46 |





