








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3886 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4792 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3743 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,733 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maspandey | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | Pond_ | 44% | 160 |
| #3 | Zane | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | Zero | 40% | 123 |
| #5 | RatPopper | 39% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero | 249 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pond_ | 228 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zane | 225 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #4 | RatPopper | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maspandey | 106 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maspandey | +1.33 | 29 | 62 |
| #2 | Zane | +0.96 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | RatPopper | +0.41 | 65 | 40 |
| #4 | Zero | +0.17 | 32 | 50 |
| #5 | MeatWad | -0.72 | 46 | 59 |





