










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 654 | 20% |
| Smokes | 830 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 912 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 842 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,117,621 of utility $330 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LTR2k | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | DonTrexoul | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | outpl3y4d | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Gooby | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Onkel Robibi | 53% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Onkel Robibi | 53% | 128 |
| #6 | Blubberbernd | 47% | 113 |
| #7 | Leonard Powers | 44% | 57 |
| #8 | anti | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | Mr.Schwarz | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leonard Powers | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | DonTrexoul | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mr.Schwarz | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Onkel Robibi | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Gooby | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blubberbernd | 385 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Onkel Robibi | 362 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | DonTrexoul | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Leonard Powers | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | LTR2k | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | outpl3y4d | +3.08 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | DonTrexoul | +1.90 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Gooby | +1.77 | 83 | 20 |
| #4 | Blubberbernd | +1.65 | 58 | 73 |
| #5 | Shivago | +0.49 | 53 | 54 |





