








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 340 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2066 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1693 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,024 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerø | 40% | 10 |
| #2 | Impera9 | 40% | 53 |
| #3 | ryry | 39% | 94 |
| #4 | march 8th (evil) | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerø | 40% | 10 |
| #2 | Impera9 | 40% | 53 |
| #3 | ryry | 39% | 94 |
| #4 | march 8th (evil) | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impera9 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ryry | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryry | 80 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Impera9 | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | march 8th (evil) | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Zerø | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryry | +1.39 | 62 | 47 |
| #2 | march 8th (evil) | +1.12 | 45 | 31 |
| #3 | XYDER #86 | -2.03 | 25 | 36 |
| #4 | Impera9 | -3.01 | 28 | 44 |
| #5 | Zerø | -3.22 | 40 | 47 |





