








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1134 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2419 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,595 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 哥们,我能说实话吗 | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Zerø | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | check doxbin | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | IM KILLING MYSELF v2 | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | L3nny | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | check doxbin | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | IM KILLING MYSELF v2 | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | L3nny | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | m1saa | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | Home cook | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1saa | 11 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | IM KILLING MYSELF v2 | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | check doxbin | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Zerø | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Home cook | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM KILLING MYSELF v2 | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Home cook | 154 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | m1saa | 94 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | 哥们,我能说实话吗 | 80 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | check doxbin | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM KILLING MYSELF v2 | +3.79 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | 哥们,我能说实话吗 | +3.75 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | Home cook | +1.47 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | L3nny | +1.42 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | march 8th (evil) | +0.42 | 58 | 47 |





