








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2043 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 447 matches | ||
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5763 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9881 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6363 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7306 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,880,376 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasioL | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | aivo | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Tzimii | 48% | 117 |
| #4 | Snorsu | 46% | 104 |
| #5 | MX | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MX | 46% | 81 |
| #6 | claptuu | 45% | 73 |
| #7 | Ned | 45% | 93 |
| #8 | EvilH | 43% | 129 |
| #9 | Hanhi | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzimii | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | claptuu | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snorsu | 344 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | kasioL | 254 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Hanhi | 237 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tzimii | 213 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | EvilH | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvilH | +2.21 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | Tzimii | +0.33 | 39 | 60 |
| #3 | aivo | +0.21 | 55 | 54 |
| #4 | kasioL | +0.12 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | Logens | +0.03 | 54 | 62 |





