








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 372 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2543 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4350 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3530 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2984 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,818,368 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El_Jutku | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | MX | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | willey- | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Tzimii | 52% | 151 |
| #5 | Lebe | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Hanhi | 47% | 125 |
| #14 | Snorsu | 47% | 106 |
| #15 | SUS1 | 46% | 26 |
| #16 | Logens | 45% | 93 |
| #17 | kasioL | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanhi | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | El_Jutku | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Tzimii | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | aivo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Lebe | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanhi | 460 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lebe | 432 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Snorsu | 331 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | EvilH | 325 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tzimii | 293 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvilH | +2.20 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | SUS1 | +1.36 | 88 | 84 |
| #3 | Lebe | +0.93 | 64 | 78 |
| #4 | Varpe | +0.64 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | smB^🧙 | +0.58 | 68 | 62 |





