








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 29% |
| Smokes | 699 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,248 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chill player | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | No more gamba | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | jichu | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | Logitech G502 121G | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Pitted Pan | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jichu | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | Logitech G502 121G | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Pitted Pan | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | HuiNiJia | 48% | 71 |
| #7 | Cho | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jichu | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Logitech G502 121G | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | HuiNiJia | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jichu | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | HuiNiJia | 155 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pitted Pan | 147 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cho | 48 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | No more gamba | 26 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G PRO X SUPERDUPERLIGHT | +2.23 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | jichu | +0.80 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | HuiNiJia | +0.32 | 58 | 79 |
| #4 | Pitted Pan | -0.15 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Cho | -0.30 | 46 | 56 |





