








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 19% |
| Smokes | 493 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,182 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheerbear | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | cARRY kANGEN | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Z1N Cookie | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheerbear | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | cARRY kANGEN | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Z1N Cookie | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | cheerbear | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheerbear | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | cARRY kANGEN | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Z1N Cookie | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cARRY kANGEN | +2.63 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | crimZn™ | +1.63 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Z1N Cookie | +0.02 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | cheerbear | -2.01 | 35 | 55 |





