








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2790 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2974 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4626 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4227 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,832 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skebolebo | 51% | 93 |
| #2 | k. | 50% | 161 |
| #3 | DonCheetos | 50% | 232 |
| #4 | Тим, это Том | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | alo | 47% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alo | 50 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Тим, это Том | 26 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | DonCheetos | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | k. | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | skebolebo | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonCheetos | 607 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | skebolebo | 316 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | alo | 227 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Тим, это Том | 72 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Turbo A.K.A Ferrari F50 | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |





