








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 214 | 34% |
| Smokes | 139 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 180 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 100 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,046 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damkjaer | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Fazer | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | sapph '1 | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Penisland.com | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | sound (0-aim) | 73% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tronald Dump | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | Shadowth56 | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | Mr. Lassard | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | Tykke Tyk | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Addash | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowth56 | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Addash | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Mr. Lassard | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowth56 | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | sound (0-aim) | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tronald Dump | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nyredolk | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Penisland.com | 15 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tronald Dump | +6.72 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Penisland.com | +4.32 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | Shadowth56 | +4.09 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | sapph '1 | +3.62 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Wheels | +2.35 | 79 | 48 |





