








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 15% |
| Smokes | 981 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,084 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BuNi | 43% | 74 |
| #10 | Bianco | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | Matthew Broderick | 27% | 22 |
| #12 | schlauchkefer | 21% | 14 |
| #13 | SG94 | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 六九S1CKFRIED六九 | +6.56 | 68 | 86 |
| #2 | Kenneth | +3.27 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | Matthew Broderick | +2.67 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | Smitty Werben Jagger Man Jensen | +2.53 | 62 | 73 |
| #5 | Christi_R | +1.61 | 45 | 68 |





